The Leaves Aren't The Only Thing Changing This Autumn

From pseudo- mom to whirl wind nanny, it is amazing how life can change so quickly.

The past year I have spent with N-Bean and G-Force being, in large, a third parent. I was with them most of the day and over-night here and there. Not only was this a very steady job choice, but it was like gaining a few family members. I have an extremely close bond with N, who calls me “Bor” for reasons I am unsure of. G and I have a unique and close relationship as well although it involves more head-butting (figuratively) and Lego building. It doesn’t just end there. The whole family will be connected to me for life. I will make sure of it. 

In July, my lovely work family moved to Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Over the summer I traveled to Pittsburgh to help the kids settle into their neighborhood. If I am totally honest, I also did it because it made the goodbyes much more gradual. I hate goodbyes, even if they are temporary. For the rest of my life I will never forget saying goodnight to G the night before I flew back home. Tucking him in and hugging him tight. After which I climbed into N's big girl bed and snuggled up with her. I was okay, really, until she said "I wuv you, Bor". Then, in true Lauren fashion, I lost it. I bawled and kissed her goodnight and told her I loved her too. Even though I will see them all again, it couldn’t help but feel like being face to face with the end to an era. Most certainly a great year at the very least.

Now it is mid-September, and I am a woman of many jobs. All in childcare. On Monday, and Tuesday I work with two wonderful little girls in Bloor West Village. The other two days a week will hopefully be split between two more families as soon as schedules are finalized. This makes for three families a week. What a difference. 

Part of me will miss growing a bond with one family, but another part of me is excited to be that adult friend the kids see once or twice a week. I am thrilled to be flying in and out of their lives and being in charge of bringing on the fun. This next year should bring on a new side to my childcare experiences, a new chapter to my life, and bring me ever closer to being ready for mommy-hood myself (don't get any idea, family of mine). 

Cheers to changes, life bonds, and goodbyes that are not forever.

Lauren

#BeingAWimp

Pushover is a strong word. A word used to describe people that let themselves be walked over by others, used by many, and do not have the ability to say the word “No!” I, personally, refuse to use the word “pushover” to describe myself. My refusal on its own is a form of standing up for myself (At least I would like to think so). However, I am a huge confrontation avoider (AKA. Wimp). That seems like a better way to describe me. In other words, I am the flight in “fight or flight”. 

Here are a couple simple examples:

  

1.    I am walking down the street. Tunes are blaring in my ear. I am thinking, walking, and doing my thing. Along comes a cyclist on the sidewalk. An adult cyclist who clearly should be on the road. What do I do? Not what I should do, that’s what. Instead of keeping my path and allowing them to swerve (because they are in the wrong and I know it), I simply move off the sidewalk and let them pass. I don’t want to deal with someone being angry at me. Ever.

  

2.   I buy a piece of clothing from a store, let’s say H&M for the pure fact that I ALWAYS shop there. Love me some H&M. Anyways… Whatever it is I buy, after a week, it rips. Destroyed. Not my fault. Totally a case for return. Would I return it? No. At least not most times. I will say, if it is super expensive, then yes, I will return it. I don’t know what it is that freaks me out so much about returning stuff, but I do not like it. I do not like green eggs and ham, either. Yuck. 

My family also has plenty of stories of me being a little flighty and some are just ridiculous (although true). Maybe one day I will be brave enough to post their stories, until then, you are stuck with my versions (no versions). I am posting about my straight up wimpiness (made up word-alert) in hopes of receiving some encouraging words or advice from anyone who wants to share. In my eyes, I avoid confrontation because most of the time, it is easier. I let negative thoughts and actions go to make more room for positives. This is the way I feel, but perhaps I need to man up more often and as mom would say, to put my “Little balls out, right on forward”… And on we march.

So, are you a wimp too? A recovering one? Perhaps your balls (figuratively) have always been out and in charge?  Let me know what you do to stand up for yourself, even against really scary people. If you are a little timid, and not interested in a fight (like me), I support you… But do you have limits? A time when enough is freaking ENOUGH?   

Until the next spout of words and nonsense, cheers.

Lauren (AKA Little Laurnie Big Wimp)

Coffee & A Stroll

We know I love my coffee. We also know I am a stepping machine. That being said, and some wedding goals being set, I have been going for morning neighborhood walks. After a few walks there is something I am dying to admit. I have a deep, affectionate love for the city. 

Phew!  It feels so much better that admit that.  Sorry, Mike, I love you too (just in a different way).

Toronto is viewed in many different ways. On a pessimistic side, people often see the city as crowded, with rude city dwellers. Full of concrete and Starbucks, and as a business central (Which can also be a good thing). Visitors to the city often come for work, where they don't have a chance to explore. Those who don't come here for a business trip, come for the attractions. This shows people crowds, lines, and all for things that you can find anywhere (high towers, zoos, aquariums, yadda yadda yadda). 

I see why the city may come off as anything but charming, but charming is exactly what it is. When you look at the hidden secrets this wonderful city has to offer. The art, culture, local cafes, and history of each neighborhood is exciting in its own right. The waterfront has beautiful grassy spots, and sandy beaches. There is something to check out no matter which direction you are headed. However, defending the city is not the purpose of this post. I am in love, remember, and I don’t enjoy hearing negativity towards the things I cherish.

This morning I made a coffee at home, then put the delicious, hot, liquid into a travel cup (Yes, a Starbucks one), and I left my house. The walk was not long, or far, but it steered me through side streets I have never known. It was simply magical. As a huge admirer of architecture, I can't help but adore old homes with tons of character. Equally so, renovated homes and new designs are an obsession of mine. Bare wood, black framing, and brick seems to be a popular choice, and it’s a spectacular look. What appeals most to me on these walks, are the unison of all homes. Every sort of style is jammed into one tiny street and like a little magic trick, it all works rather seamlessly.

In front of the homes in this neighborhood is usually a tiny green space. Passing by and seeing the unique creativity in these spaces is awesome. Some people have perfect gardens with paths, while other folks have old, huge apple trees surrounded by wild flowers. Wonders like giant looming flowers, to short perfect squares of lawn can be found. It never ceases to amaze. 

 

Also, people need to be mentioned. Something about walking around with coffee in my hand, and my buddies Smith, Sheeran, and Legend playing softly in my ear, made me exceptionally happy. I said “hello” and “good morning” to everyone I passed. What many of you may find surprising is that most people said hi back... With a smile!  This is why I love the city. There is so much reason to be uptight, scheduled, and stressed out. Yet, everyday there are people out, moseying about, like me. Out enjoying the day, and taking it all in with deep, liberating, breaths. <3

Not only did all of these lovely things inspire me to write, but it pushes me to keep stepping, and continue to fill my heart with things that make me happy on a daily bases.

Much love,

Lauren