A Theory on Heartbreak

Remember that first crush that broke your heart? The first time another kid said something mean to you on the playground? Do you remember the first goldfish that died and the personal burial ceremony you gave little Golden Oldie (your parents named him)?

Have you have thought about the fact that we endure heartbreaks at a pretty young age, and that they actually may occur for very serious, and supporting reasons?  I have.

Thanks to my Mom, I believe everything in life happens for a reason, whether or not we truly understand why. Good, bad, or unimaginable, there are lessons in everything. So, what is the purpose of heartbreak? I am not going to say the usual thing, that heartbreak is here so that love feels stronger and love wouldn't exist without heartache. I do not disagree here, please don’t mistake me. I simply have another point of view to add to the necessity of disappointment.

Picture a person who was raised in perfection. Never been bullied. Ever. In any way. Never received a failing grade, or a reject of any kind. This person grows into adulthood with a wonderful career, fulfilling family life, and supportive parents. They are glowingly happy in all facets of their life.

What happens to this person when their parents get sick or pass away? What happens if their company downsizes and they are out of a job? What happens when their spouse decides they love someone else? What if this person is diagnosed with cancer or something equally as awful and heart-wrenching to go through?   I am not saying any of these things will definitely happen, but they are all realities many of us face throughout our lifetime. Sometimes all at once too.

Does a person with no previous heartache have what it takes to cope in their soul when shit really does hit the fan (metaphorically, and maybe literally too)?

How about the rest of us, the real human beings who deal with heartache from the first time a toy is ripped from our grip, through to the boy who gets cut from the football team, and then onto the college student who fails a class. What happens to us when the major, life changing heart break is thrown our way?

I like to think that those smaller, still important, let-downs help to armor our fragile hearts. They help us to build up an immunity, and a coping mechanism that supports us through our lives. Are we impermeable? ... No. But, in my opinion, we have a strong base to help us get through unbearable things. This base it built up slowly and helps to prevent us from falling apart. This is not always 100% successful, but as a majority, people deal with tragic things in a magically healing manor.

When I think of depression (and yes, the recent news of Robin Williams passing does play a role in these thoughts) I think of a person whose heart isn’t built up with armor. A person who can’t help but feel the full negative reactions of life’s unexpected tragedies in the most raw ways imaginable. Could you live like that not having the ability to cope, and to heal? Do you live this way? I couldn’t, and my heart goes out to each and every individual who manage daily with such a difficult and unforgiving syndrome. I offer my ears, my heart, and my hope to anyone who is willing to talk about their thoughts and feelings with me. Whether these are feelings of anxiety, loss, happiness, excitement, or depression, I am here. For you. Always.

I am thankful, and feel blessed, for having an armored heart that has been built up in order to protect me, and support me through each heartache of the future.

*Robin Williams, may you rest in a peaceful paradise where your humorous attitude can flourish and your love radiates through the atmosphere. <3

Lauren