The Leaves Aren't The Only Thing Changing This Autumn

From pseudo- mom to whirl wind nanny, it is amazing how life can change so quickly.

The past year I have spent with N-Bean and G-Force being, in large, a third parent. I was with them most of the day and over-night here and there. Not only was this a very steady job choice, but it was like gaining a few family members. I have an extremely close bond with N, who calls me “Bor” for reasons I am unsure of. G and I have a unique and close relationship as well although it involves more head-butting (figuratively) and Lego building. It doesn’t just end there. The whole family will be connected to me for life. I will make sure of it. 

In July, my lovely work family moved to Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Over the summer I traveled to Pittsburgh to help the kids settle into their neighborhood. If I am totally honest, I also did it because it made the goodbyes much more gradual. I hate goodbyes, even if they are temporary. For the rest of my life I will never forget saying goodnight to G the night before I flew back home. Tucking him in and hugging him tight. After which I climbed into N's big girl bed and snuggled up with her. I was okay, really, until she said "I wuv you, Bor". Then, in true Lauren fashion, I lost it. I bawled and kissed her goodnight and told her I loved her too. Even though I will see them all again, it couldn’t help but feel like being face to face with the end to an era. Most certainly a great year at the very least.

Now it is mid-September, and I am a woman of many jobs. All in childcare. On Monday, and Tuesday I work with two wonderful little girls in Bloor West Village. The other two days a week will hopefully be split between two more families as soon as schedules are finalized. This makes for three families a week. What a difference. 

Part of me will miss growing a bond with one family, but another part of me is excited to be that adult friend the kids see once or twice a week. I am thrilled to be flying in and out of their lives and being in charge of bringing on the fun. This next year should bring on a new side to my childcare experiences, a new chapter to my life, and bring me ever closer to being ready for mommy-hood myself (don't get any idea, family of mine). 

Cheers to changes, life bonds, and goodbyes that are not forever.

Lauren

Can't Stand The Rain

 I have been told before, by various people that I resemble a cat. 

At first, this thought made me proud. People actually see me as composed, independent, and poise? Wow, that's amazing! 

Wait a minute, I am not composed at all! I wear my heart on my sleeve often in the form of tears (happy and sad). I am not all that independent or poise either, why do people say I remind them of felines??
 One day, I worked up the courage to ask my bosses this very question. This was years ago and the answer still echoes in my head today. They both responded the same way, with a concerning, gentle expression, They said "Lauren, you have to have your hands spotless at all times, you frighten easily, and you absolutely hate the rain".

They could not be more right! I would carry a wash cloth with me if I could, and as a young child I did just that. I don't like playing in sand or touching mud, and anything sticky makes me a little panicky, sometimes nauseous. Why on earth did I choose childcare for a profession??
 There is not a bigger Scaredy-Cat than me, ask my sister. I am petrified of silly things like being chased up the stairs, being left behind, and any scary movies (sorry, Mike!). The fact that I can watch and enjoy The Walking Dead is, frankly, beyond me.

 Most true of all is the fact that I despise the rain. Make that any unexpected water. Showers when I am sleepy or grumpy? - Forget it! Dancing in the rain on a hot summer day? - Screw you! Splashing war in the swimming pool?-  Do you have a death wish?  I know its odd and sort of uptight, but I can't stand the feeling wet clothing smothering me, even when I know I can get to dry ones in less than a minute. Also, splashes of water give me tiny annoying little hives, which is probably another reason why I can't stand it. Who wants hives? - NO ONE!

Anyways, there is a point to all of this, I swear. 

As of right now I am a Nanny again for the Mesic family and as part of my work for them I take their older son to and from school everyday with their younger daughter along for the stroll. "Stroll" barely defines how slow this walk can be some days. At a two year-old's pace, when puddles and store windows create obvious distractions and if something goes wrong its an instant meltdown, a walk can turn into an epic adventure down the streets of Toronto. Walking with a toddler takes patience and concentration and more love than some people emit in a lifetime just to make it where your going on-time, and with any composure.

Today brought on a shit-storm of terrible weather for our morning walk. Its icy, wet, rainy, floody (not a word, but no less important), and damp. My worst nightmare of a walking atmosphere (times ten). True to form, little N is walking in puddles, playing on her toy cellphone and trying her best to avoid holding my hand. Its pouring rain when we leave the school, and we stop half way home so I can get much needed caffeine fix to get me through the rest of the walk, and maybe the morning.

When we left the coffee shop, we were walking hand in hand, laughing about that time when her boot fell off going up some stairs and she stepped bare-sock into some water, stepping in puddles, and generally being happy. It was then I realized - It is still pouring out! I didn't think about the rain the whole walk home. I was too focused by her laughter, love, and carefree attitude that it engulfed me. I too became happy, loving, and carefree. 

 It is little moments like this that remind me why I work with children. When their attitudes spread over you like a blanket you never want to take off for fear of being cold, its the most wonderful feeling in the world. 

I still can't stand the rain, or sticky fingers, or being scared, but I learned that my top priority is the safety, and happiness of children. When my efforts on concentrated on those things, weather doesn't even hit a 2 on the Richtor Scale of current importance. I want N to love the rain, get her fingers dirty (as long as she doesn't touch me with them), and not be afraid of anything. Ever.

My goal as an educator, and one day mother (hopefully) is to never pass my fears, or oddities to my children. They will have a lifetime to acquire their own without any help from me.

Cheers to fearless young minds,

Lauren